The Crown Prince of Gotham Goes on Holiday
by Hermione Fae
Summary: After Harley starts showing signs of fatigue, the Joker decides it's time for them to take a little brake. Ayerverse. Leto Joker/Robbie Harley.
1. Chapter 1

"Where is she?" Thundered the Joker as he forcefully pushed open the double doors in front of him, unaware that one of his goons was standing right behind it and was now on the floor nursing a broken nose. The rest of his gang had jumped up from the golden sofas, attempting to disguise that they weren't doing anything.

Not many of the Joker's men were brave enough to respond directly to their boss. That honour usually fell to Bob, the Joker's number two. "I think I saw her in the Sensory Room boss" stated Bob, careful to not look the Joker in his eyes.

"Fine, get this mess cleaned up, I want the club ready for business when we open later tonight and pick Finn off the floor unless he wants to new job as my personal footstool." The Joker prowled off in the direction of the newly installed Sensory Room. It was an extended cupboard filled with coloured tubes, bubbles and lava lamps which was great for the customers who were either high or needed calming the fuck down.

The Joker stood in the doorway and peered in. He spotted Harley sitting cross legged on the floor, her head resting on a glass tube, her fingers slowly following the ascending bubbles lost in thought, the blue light from the tube highlighting her face.

"Wake up Harley girl we need to shut this place down for the night, it's nearly five in the morning!"

There was no response from his girlfriend, he sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose and raised his forehead where his eyebrows once were. "What's up Princess?" He asked quietly, moving towards her and crouching down in front. Harley looked at her Puddin' with fazed eyes, almost like she was looking through him "oh nothing Mista J, just a bit tired that's all."

"Well snap outta it girl" said the Joker standing up and starting to leave until Harley began "don't cha ever feel like…." she stopped as he spun on his heel to look back at her. She furrowed her bow. The Joker didn't like her complaining or being negative, she wasn't sure if he'd like what she wanted to say, but if it didn't come out Harley felt like she was going to burst. "Like you want to get away from it all?"

"What do you mean?"

Harley sighed, stood up and smoothed out her skirt "well, we've been doing this straight for at least five years, we've never had a break. I've not been outta Gotham since I started working in Arkham. I'd just like a little holiday or something." Harley fully expected the Joker to give her a slap or to tell her to grow up but it seemed that her was actually thinking about it.

The Joker smoothed back his green hair and held out his arm for Harley to take "come on Harley we will discuss this at home." She nodded, it wasn't a no after all, and allowed herself to be led out of their club into the waiting car.

The two clowns sat in the back seats of the black Jeep as their flashy purple sports car was currently being repaired. Harley leaned her head onto the Joker's shoulder and played with his gold bracelet, whist he watched Gotham wizz by the car window. In a few moments they had arrived at their hideout.

A penthouse apartment they had killed for, literally, the previous owners were now spending time at the bottom of the Gotham river in body bags. Harley wordlessly took herself to bed whilst the Joker instructed Bob to set up a few business meetings between him and some of his rivals. The sun had almost totally risen by the time he had decided to join Harley in bed.

The Joker took off his wine red shirt and black trousers and slipped into the black silky bed next to her. Harley has subconsciously sensed his presence because she turned towards him and snuggled against him. The Joker stretched like a cat, his bones clicking as he went, he put an arm around her and softly kissed the top of her head. He then reached over and picked up the remote for the blinds. As the sun rose above the tallest buildings, their binds came down and as the Joker drifted off to sleep he thought to himself 'perhaps it would be nice to have a holiday'


	2. Chapter 2

Harley woke a couple of hours later after her Mista J had twitched so violently in his sleep he had wacked her in the face. She rolled away from him and gracefully climbed out of her side of the bed. She twisted her hair into two buns and put the Joker's shirt he had worn the previous night that was still on the floor and moved out of the bedroom, across the hall and into the kitchen.

She made herself a black coffee and observed the world below. She felt a lot better than yesterday now that she had told the Joker that she wanted a break, even if it didn't happen. Behind her she heard soft shuffling and then two white hands encircled her waist and she was pulled into the Joker's body.

"Morning Mista J"

"Why are you awake?" Harley turned round to face him, her blue eyes meeting his own.

"You twitched and it woke me up"

"So, are we gonna talk about what you said last night?" Harley studied her coffee cup, this didn't bode well.

"I just thought it would be a good idea that's all." The Joker took the cup away from her and set it on the side. "I think it's a great idea." Harley's face lit up, she smiled widely, her eyes sparkling.

"Really! Oh Puddin'!" She threw her arms around his neck, he picked her up and spun her round, both laughing maniacally, so loudly they woke up Bob who was asleep in the lounge next door. He sat up, saw the two clowns laughing and then realised that the Joker was still completely naked, Bob layed back down and tried to erase that disturbing image from his head.

Back in the kitchen Harley had made another drink and the Joker had gone to get some pants on and to retrieve his laptop. Harley sat on top of the counter and swung her legs up and down.

"Where do you wanna go?" He said plonking the laptop next to her "we aren't going for long."

Harley thought for a moment, where did she want to go? What did she want to see that she couldn't in Gotham city. "Trees, I wanna see trees and grass an' wide open spaces!" she exclaimed.

The Joker nodded and smiled to himself, he sauntered into the lounge and slapped Bob lightly around the head to rouse him. " Bob, Harley wants to see some trees, find some now!"

"Yes boss." Bob muttered.

An hour later Bob came to the Joker and whispered something in his ear. Harley who had got dressed into her favourite Daddy's Lil' Monster t-shirt and red and blue hot pants, was painting her nails two different shades of red, couldn't hear what they were saying until the Joker called over to her.

"Harls, go and pack a bag, we're going on vacation!"

Harley squealed loudly and jumped up and down in celebration, then she ran off, pulled out an old bowling ball bag they had previously used to carry guns and shoved as many clothes as she could in the bag. She thrust the bag at the nearest henchman and climbed into the Joker's lap who was sitting on the sofa cleaning his gun. "So where we goin' Puddin' ?"

"Ahh, that's for me to know and you to find out love, we're leaving in ten minutes. You ready?"

"You betcha!" Said Harley jumping out of his lap

"Excellent, get your ass in the car" the Joker also got up and slapped her behind.

"Is the purple car back yet?" Harley asked.

"Not yet, next week" The Joker sighed. Harley nodded and headed out of the apartment.

 **A/N:** Hope you enjoyed this chapter, its only 11 days to go until the wait is over and we get to watch the whole film in all it's glory! Its so hard trying to work with characters from the trailers. I hope I'm doing alright. Please leave a review to let me know your thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

They headed west away from Gotham, Harley was astounded how wide the surrounding area was out of the city. They passed the derelict Wayne Manor and Harley felt a little sad, she hated seeing a building so sad. From there on there was nothing for miles.

They carried on for another hour until Harley's stomach rumbled. She turned to the Joker and stroked his arm "Puddin' I'm hungry."

The Joker, who was also getting restless because he didn't like being closed up for so long nodded and promised that they would stop at the next gas station. Luckily that opportunity came quite quickly and as soon as they stopped the car Harley jumped out and skipped into the shop.

The attendant hadn't really noticed his customers until the Joker, with his bright green hair, gold chains and numerous tattoos sauntered in. "Oooh look Mista J! Apples!" Exclaimed Harley examining the bright red fruit.

"An apple a day keeps the, ah, doctor away, isn't that right, erm, Terry" he said, addressing the shop attendant who was now terrified.

"Please don't hurt me" said Terry, visibly shaking.

"Oh we aren't here for you Terry" admitted the Joker.

"Nah! We're here for the free food" squealed Harley filling her arms up with as much food and drink she could carry. "Thanks!" she called walking out of the shop, oblivious to the alarms ringing.

"See, that was painless wasn't it Terry?" The Joker said laughing.

Terry nodded and also started laughing out of fear, if he didn't laugh he'd probably cry. The two men stood and laughed for a moment before the Clown Prince took out his gun and shot the shop attendant in the head in one swift move.

Terry fell head first onto the counter. Still smiling slightly. The Joker returned to the car and tucked into the food Harley had stolen.

Another hour had passed and the Joker was bored once again. His pale hand found Harley's knee and circled it repeatedly, he then trailed it further up her leg. He stroked her lower stomach and saw her cheeks blush as he lowered his hand again.

Harley squirmed with pleasure as the Joker brushed her increasingly wet folds. She moaned with desire as he picked up speed but just as she was about to climax he stopped.

She opened her eyes and pouted at him. The Joker chuckled at her expression, "I love teasing you. You can only cum when I allow you to, remember!"

"Yes Daddy" whispered Harley breathlessly. Suddenly her boss lunged for her and she was thrown backwards onto the seat. They kissed passionately, both of them forgetting the fact that there were two other people in the car in the front.

The Joker undid his zipper and in one movement entered Harley. The two gathered momentum but it didn't take long for Harley to orgasm. The Joker followed suit and the two lay there together for a brief moment before Harley redressed them both and the Joker smoothed back his hair.

In the front Bob cleared his throat and said "we've arrived boss." The car stopped and the clowns climbed out. Harley turned round, and saw a beautiful little cabin in front of her. It was wooden in structure and sat next to a large lake. "Oh Puddin' It's amazing!"

They grinned at each other and walked in arm in arm towards the front door, where the Joker took out his gun from the holster and shot the lock until the door sprung open.

 **A/N:** Another chapter down. I hope all of you are still enjoying this story!


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